[Friday Series] Aishah bint Abi Bakr-Part 3: The Ideal Marriage Cont…

Posted by mosaicofmuslimwomen on March 18, 2012 · 5 Comments 

The most important issues concerning marriage in Islam we take from Aishah (RA) through her Hadith. She would watch and later recount exactly how the Prophet ﷺ made wuduu, how he washed after they had been intimate and other issues concerning hygiene. Aishah (RA) was also a great source for women who would ask her personal female problems and she would ask the Prophet ﷺ on their behalf. In this way, she came to relate most of the Hadith that deal with personal, social and family issues. One of these issues was the treatment of women. According to Aishah (RA), the Prophet ﷺ never laid his hands on a woman, ever. Not his daughters, any of the wives, not a servant girl, no woman at all.

We know from many Hadith that the Prophet ﷺ prayed Tahajud, nightly prayer, every night and it was very important to him. From Aishah (RA) we learn how polite he was about it with his wives. If he and Aishah (RA) were lying together and he wanted to get up to pray, he would say, “Would you excuse me to pray for an hour.” Aishah (RA) would reply, “I love your closeness but yes.”

The Prophet ﷺ used to sit and listen to Aishah (RA) talk for hours and he would enjoy his conversations with her.  Aishah (RA) used to ask him what his love for her was like. He would tell her it was like a strong knot. So sometimes, Aishah (RA) would tease him and ask him how the knot was doing. He would tell her that it is stronger than ever.

As his wife, Aishah (RA) never considered herself above any other woman. She participated in many of the battles and was among the women that accompanied the soldiers. In some battles, her job was to collect the arrows and in others she brought water to the soldiers. Their life was not one of luxury, quite the opposite. They lived a live of extreme poverty, so much that Aishah (RA) once said that they would see three moons (three months passed) where a fire was not kindled in the house of the Prophet ﷺ. They survived only on water and dates. Whenever Aishah (RA) did get she gave away in charity.

As the Muslims started to get stronger and more settled in Madinah, some of the wives put in a request for their allowances to be increased. This request and desire for worldly comforts disturbed the Prophet ﷺ and he went into seclusion for about a month into an apartment above Aishah’s (RA) home. After a month, he said to Aishah(RA) that she could live with him in a life of hardship or leave him and live a life of ease. He advised her to consult her parents on her decision. However, Aishah (RA) told him that she and her parents would willingly sacrifice their lives for him and she preferred him over anything else in the world. This pleased the Prophet ﷺ so much. He went and offered his other wives the same as Aishah (RA) and they all gave the same reply. Then Allah sent down this verse:

{O Prophet ﷺ! Say to your wives: ‘If you desire the life of this world, and its glitter, then come! I will make a provision for you and set you free in a handsome manner (divorce). But if you desire Allah and His Messenger, and the Home of the hereafter, then verily, Allah has prepared for the good-doers among you an enormous reward.} (Quran- 33:28-29)

Aishah (RA) was the only person to ever see Angel Gabriel, other than the Prophet ﷺ. The first time she saw him, she saw the Prophet ﷺ with his hands on a horse and talking to the rider. She asked him who the rider was and the Prophet ﷺ, surprised that she could see him, told her that it was Gabriel and he sends his greetings to her. A second time, Aishah (RA) saw a stranger standing outside the door while the Prophet ﷺ was praying. After he finished, she informed him about the stranger and the Prophet (PBUH) went out to greet him. He invited Gabriel in but he replied that he does not enter places with dogs or pictures (Aishah (RA) had a small puppy in the room). The puppy was chased out and Gabriel entered.

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Now that we have a very good picture of what their life was like together, next week we will discuss one of the most difficult times in Aishah’s life and what we can learn from it today.

*I love how the considerate the Prophet ﷺ was! Mashallah! What a great example for men he was!

*I also love how he advised her to consult her parents. That is very interesting. Nowadays people usually keep their marriage problems between themselves, sometimes for the better. But I think what we can learn from here is that parents need to be wise and as objective as possible when advising their children and not to always take the side of their child. I have read many Hadith where Abu Bakr was a moderator between Mohammed ﷺ and Aishah (RA) and he would listen objectively to both sides and then give a fair observation. I think also because he loved both so much. I think that is not as common nowadays, but it is interesting.

*I once read a horrible article written by a Muslim woman about dogs in the house and what is the big deal if angels don’t come in the house since we don’t get divine revelations? I was so surprised that this woman would write such a thing. Why wouldn’t you want angels in your house. They bless your house and protect you from what you are not aware of. Why would having a dog in your house be worth giving that up?

What do you all think?

Read the rest of the series:

Part 1: Discussing the issues behind Aishah’s age

Part 2: The Ideal Marriage

Part 4: The Incidence of Slander

Part 5: The Incidence of Slander cont..

Part 6: The end is only the beginning

Part 7: An Example for Muslim women

Quṭb, Muḥammad ʻAlī. Women around the Messenger. Riyadh: International Islamic House, 2007. Print.

Ghadanfar, Mahmood Ahmad., Jamila Muhammad. Qawi, Sheikh Safiur-Rahman. Al-Mubarakpuri, Muhammad Ayub. Sapra, and Muhammad Farooq. Great Women of Islam: Who Were given the Good News of Paradise. Riyadh, Saudi Arabia: Darussalam, 2001. Print.

Darussalam. The Honorable Wives of the Prophet, Peace Be upon Him. 1st ed. 2004. Print.

Istānbūlī, Maḥmūd Mahdī. The Bride’s Boon = Tuhfat Al-arous. El-Mansoura, Egypt: Dar Al-Manarah, 1999. Print.

“Assayida Aisha 3- Amr Khalid.” YouTube. YouTube, 29 July 2009.  <http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eJCV9YpaBR0&feature=relmfu&gt;.

Webb, Suhaib. Mothers of the Believers : Lives of the Wives of Prophet Muhammad (upon Whom Be Peace). : Awakening Media,  Audio CD.

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