[Friday Series] Aishah bint Abi Bakr- Part 2: The Ideal Marriage

{And among His signs, is that He created you from mates from among yourselves so that you may dwell in tranquility with them and he has put love and mercy between you hearts; verily in that are signs for those who reflect} (Quran, Surat Al Rum, 21)

{It is He who created you from a single person and made his mate of like nature in order that he might dwell with her (in love)} (Quran, Surat Al A’raf, 189)

Last week, we discussed Aishah’s (RA) age and the issues surrounding it and we touched on the reasons why she got married so young. One of the main reasons was that she was able to remember everything and ended up relating so many Hadith. The story of the marriage between Aishah (RA) and the Prophet ﷺ, which we gather through Hadith, has been given to us so that we may learn what a real marriage is suppose to look like. We can see how a man is suppose to treat his wife and how a woman is suppose to treat her husband. This is the blessing of Hadith in Islam; it is the personification of the Quran and gives us examples to follow. The stories I will discuss below are all from Hadith Sahih, true Hadith, although I will write it in story form.


On the morning of Aishah’s (RA) wedding, she went with her mom to another ladies house and got her hair done and got dressed. Her mother thought she was too thin from an illness she had been recovering from and kept on trying to get her to gain weight. Prophet Mohammed ﷺ came to their house to receive her. Their wedding was very simple and at her parent’s house and the food was just dates and water.

The house they lived in together was one room that was connected to the Prophet’s ﷺ mosque and constructed from mud bricks and date palm leaves. There was a leather mattress stuffed with palm fibers, a leather water bag, a small plate for dates, and a glass for drinking water. They lived a life of poverty, hunger, and hardship, which differed greatly from the life of ease Aishah (RA) had at her parent’s house. However, Aisha didn’t mind all of that because she was so happy in her marriage to Mohammed ﷺ.

So what was the marriage like? To give you an idea, we can go to a hadith that was told by Aisha.  It is a very long hadith in which she tells about 11 women describing their husbands. The last woman talks about her husband Abu Zar. Abu Zar took her from a life in poverty and gave her riches and everything she ever wanted. He treated her like a queen and made her very happy. However, he ended up divorcing her. She married another man who treated her well but she said that the greatest thing her new husband has done for her doesn’t fill the smallest utensil of Abu Zar. The Prophet ﷺ was listening to Aishah’s (RA) stories and at the end said, “I am to you as Abu Zar was to his wife. But he divorced her and I would never divorce you.”

“No, you are greater than Abu Zar,” replied Aisha (RA).

One day, Prophet Mohammed ﷺ was sitting with Fatima (RA) and Aishah (RA) when he turned to Fatima (RA) and said, “Do you love what I love?” “Of course,” she replied. “Then love her,” and he pointed to Aishah (RA).

Prophet Mohammed ﷺ and Aishah (RA) used to race together. In the first few years of their marriage, she would always win. Then he started telling her, Aishah (RA) you should eat. Aishah (RA) started gaining weight and then he started winning every time they race. It was a funny joke between them that he purposely made her gain weight so he could win. Whenever there was a show or a game to watch, he used to hold her up on his shoulders and shield her from view so she could see; he never put her down no matter how tired he was until she was done watching.

Just like any marriage, they were some times when they would get upset with each other. However, during those years, the companions used to always conceal their anger and choose to be polite, as this was a trait of a good Muslim. One time, Prophet Mohammed ﷺ was teasing Aishah (RA) and he said, “I know when you are mad at me.” Aishah (RA) was stunned as she worked very hard to not show when she is angry. “How?!” she asked. “Because when you are angry, you say ‘I swear by the Lord of Abraham’. And when you are happy, you say ‘I swear by the Lord of Mohammed’,” he replied. Aishah (RA) just smiled and nodded her head.

The Prophet ﷺ used to treat every single person like they were his best friend. So much so that one day Amr ibn Al’as came back from a battle and he was greeted with such love from the Prophet ﷺ that he was sure that he was the most loved of all. In front of the other companions that were seated he asked, “Oh messenger of Allah, who do you love the most?” certain it would be him. “Aisha,” replied the Prophet ﷺ. “I mean from among the men,” replied Amr. “Her father,” said the Prophet ﷺ.

Whenever Aishah (RA) and the Prophet ﷺ would eat, he would always let her eat first. Aishah (RA) said that whenever they ate chicken, she would take a bite and then hand it to him and he would take a bite from the same place as her. Same thing when she drank water and passed it to him, he would look for where her lips were on the cup and sip from the same place she did.

Prophet Mohammed ﷺ used to come to her house when she was menstruating and recite Quran to her, since she wouldn’t be able to when she was menstruating. All the companions knew of his incredible love for her and used to refer to her as his sweetheart. “Habibat habibna, (the sweetheart of the dearest to our heart)” is how they used to describe her. They used to wait until he was at her house to give him gifts. The other wives realized this and they used to get jealous, so they all got together and told Um Salamah, the wisest of them, to speak to him. Um Salamah told the Prophet ﷺ that the other wives would like to share in the good things and he should tell the companions to give him gifts wherever he is. The Prophet ﷺ remained silent so Um Salamah repeated what she said a second and third time until her finally answered. “ Oh Um Salamah, do not hurt me regarding Aishah, for by Allah, revelations have not come to me when I was with any of you besides her. The superiority of Aishah (RA) over other women is the superiority of thareed over all other foods, “ said the Prophet ﷺ. (thareed is a mutton and bread sopped in broth that is so complete in its nutrients you would not need to eat anything else)

Prophet Mohammed ﷺ was so in love with Aishah (RA) that she was the one he wanted to spend his last moments with. He died in her arms.


*Aishah’s (RA) story is going to be different from the other Friday Series because it will have about 10 parts; there is just so much to cover.

*One time I was having a conversation with someone about why the Prophet ﷺ was so poor when he must have inherited a lot of money from Khadejah (RA) and he was always given gifts. This was because he gave so much away in charity and he chose to be poor. He liked the lack of riches and materials comforts and often prayed that he should live and die in poverty so he could be reborn on the Day of Judgment in the company of the poor and needy. The poor enter Paradise 500 years before the rich. Hmm…gives you something to think about doesn’t it?

*Aishah’s room was the room that the Prophet ﷺ was buried in and it is the only one that still stands in Masjid Anabawi in Madinah, where his grave is.  Before he passed away, she had a dream that three moons were descending into her room. The three moons were the Prophet ﷺ, her father, Abu Bakr, and Umar Ibn Al Khattab. Her father asked to be buried next the Prophet ﷺ. When Umar died, he also asked the same thing. When it came time to bury him, they stopped at the entrance to her door Umar’s son said, “The slave of Allah, Umar ibn Al Khattab is seeking permission to enter the house of the Mother of the Faithful, Aishah.” *goosebumps*. Aishah gave her consent. She used to say before, “It is only my husband and father that are buried here.” However, when Umar was too, she said, “I no longer enter the room except when my garment is fastened because I have always been shy of the presence of Umar.” Imagine what it was like living with three great people buried in your house. Subhannallah how pious she had to have been. It is said that there were always angels floating around her house.

Read the rest of the series:

Part 1: Discussing the issues of Aishah’s age

Part 3: The Ideal Marriage cont..

Part 4: The Incidence of Slander

Part 5: The Incidence of Slander cont..

Part 6: The end is only the beginning

Part 7: An Example for Muslim women

*Don’t you feel like Aishah (RA) could have been just one of us? Especially at how she was worried about her weight when she got married and as she was married. Its like she was an ordinary girl with an extraordinary life.

Qub, Muammad ʻAlī. Women around the Messenger. Riyadh: International Islamic House, 2007. Print.

Ghadanfar, Mahmood Ahmad., Jamila Muhammad. Qawi, Sheikh Safiur-Rahman. Al-Mubarakpuri, Muhammad Ayub. Sapra, and Muhammad Farooq. Great Women of Islam: Who Were given the Good News of Paradise. Riyadh, Saudi Arabia: Darussalam, 2001. Print.

Darussalam. The Honorable Wives of the Prophet, Peace Be upon Him. 1st ed. 2004. Print.

Istānbūlī, Maḥmūd Mahdī. The Bride’s Boon = Tuhfat Al-arous. El-Mansoura, Egypt: Dar Al-Manarah, 1999. Print.
“Assayida Aisha 2- Amr Khalid.” YouTube. YouTube, 29 July 2009.  <http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e3beW2R-gsc&gt;.
Webb, Suhaib. Mothers of the Believers : Lives of the Wives of Prophet Muhammad (upon Whom Be Peace). : Awakening Media,  Audio CD.

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  1. […] [Friday Series] Aishah bint Abi Bakr- Part 2: The Ideal Marriage « mosaicofmuslimwomen says: July 27, 2012 at 3:18 pm […]

  2. […] [Friday Series] Aishah bint Abi Bakr- Part 2: The Ideal Marriage « mosaicofmuslimwomen says: July 27, 2012 at 3:18 pm […]

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